Shortly after my wife’s death, I went to the mountains by myself for a week and screamed as loud and often as I wanted to. But now, 5 years later, I no longer feel the anger I felt then. I now forget how easy it was to cut myself off from others, and to let the anger and depression take over.
Read MoreThat was my reaction when I recently found out that I had prostate cancer and would have to start treatment soon. When you get prostate cancer, suddenly everyone you know is dealing with the same or a similar problem… We widowers seem to be primed to get all kinds of serious illnesses within a year or two of our wives passing.
Read MoreOne of my mantras as a widower is: “It will never be the same again!” This is never more obvious than during the holidays. Because holiday memories are so unforgettable and because they are so important to the family as a unit, the loss of your wife just makes these days especially difficult to deal with. COVID 19 has only compounded the problems.
Read MoreImmersing yourself in grief after your wife dies is unavoidable, necessary, and healthy. This stage of your grief journey may go on for months, or even years. If the tables were turned, and you died first, would you want your wife to mope around in deep grieving for years after your passing? Of course not! Well then, how the heck do you pull out of this deep grieving?
Read MoreHow do we know that our new friend is the “right one”?
In our messed-up psycho-emotional state it is so easy to make a bad decision and have our feelings dictated by wrong motives. It is easy to think that we want to marry this wonderful new woman we just met. (I know this from personal experience.)
Read MoreAlmost all of us will arrive at a point early in the grieving process when we realize that we are now all alone. Even if we have kids to take care of, friends and family nearby, and/or church members supporting us… we will still feel that we are isolated and possibly losing all connection to reality. This realization can make the world around us seem scary and surreal…
Read MoreRemember that feeling of peace, that feeling of being comfortable with yourself, your circumstances, and your marriage? Maybe you were 10, 20, or even 30 years into your marriage before you reached this point… Can you ever achieve that feeling again??
Read MoreIf you are a recent widower, this blog is for you!
Widowers often are advised to avoid self-isolation. It is harmful to our physical and mental health…. But now we are being forced to isolate-in-place due to COVID–19. So, how the hell are we supposed to heal now??
Read MoreShortly after my wife of 45 years passed in 2015, I found myself in the deepest pit of despair. I knew that I was in trouble and I could not find the answers all by myself. So, I asked myself, “Where can I go for help?” “Do I turn to a church for help? Or, do I turn to secular organizations for help?” For me the answer was made easier by…
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