When you first realize that you now have some unexpected options, you may not want them. They may scare you, embarrass you, or make you feel guilty.

Why? Because during the first few months of grieving the last thing you will want to think about are the choices that lie before you….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyFebruary 3, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorCoping with death of wife, healing grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower lonelinessComment

Finding Your New Purpose Helps You Heal

…many of us feel lost and abandoned after our wives pass away. Our sense of purpose is often taken from us and we feel like a rudderless power boat spinning aimlessly on the ocean of life. It is scary, and for many of us, there do not appear to be any answers.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJanuary 20, 2025Fred ColbyhWidower Health, healing grief, Grief therapy, overcoming widower isolation, widower loneliness, Stages of griefComment

Widower Risk Factors – Part Two

This is the second of two blogs on this topic. Part One outlined the Risk Factors, while Part Two deals with some solutions for the issues identified below.

There are several major risk factors faced by Widowers during their first year of grieving. Any of these can lead to life-threatening mental and physical health issues. Many, if not most of us (including me), have or will experience them at some point in our grief journey.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyJanuary 6, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorWidower problems, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Widower Health, widower loneliness, Stages of griefComment

Widower Risk Factors – Part One

This is the first of two blogs on this topic. Part Two will deal with solutions to each of the following issues.

There are several major risk factors faced by Widowers during their first year of grieving. Any of these can lead to life-threatening mental and physical health issues.

Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blog, Widower, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyDecember 23, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorWidower problems, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Widower Health, widower loneliness, Stages of grief Comments

Is Religious or Secular Grief Counseling Best for You?

Shortly after my wife of 45 years passed in 2015, I found myself buried in grief. I knew I was in trouble and could not find the answers by myself. So, I asked, “Where can I go for help?” I knew a little about therapy but had never really taken advantage of it.

For many of us, choosing therapy may lead to having to make a choice: “Do I turn to a church for help? Or, do I turn to secular organizations for help?”

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 9, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorGrief therapy, healing grief, Coping with complicated grief, Men’s Grief Groups, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower lonelinessComment

Surviving the Holidays

How do you steel yourself against the trauma of upcoming special days and holidays. We each may have very different experiences during these special days.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 24, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Widower’s syndrome, widower loneliness, overcoming widower isolation Comments

Charles’ Lessons for Widowers

The surprise celebrity who emerged from the group was Charles, an unlikely romantic figure. Upon first meeting him, he does not strike you as someone who would become the object of affection for so many women viewers!

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 11, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorGolden Bachelor, overcoming widower isolation, Men’s Grief Groups, Healing Grief, widower lonelinessComment

Overcoming Grief, Anger, Stress, Etc.

Unfortunately, we cannot stop the world and get off when our wife passes. So, we end up adding this humongous load of grief on top of everything else going on….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 28, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Coping with complicated grief, Men’s Grief Groups, Survivor's guilt, Widower angerComment

Why Go To Group Therapy?

On the evening of June 29, 2015, I began a journey for which I was ill-prepared. After holding my wife as she passed, I entered the grieving experience with no idea of what to expect along the way.

For the first couple of weeks, I experienced the “Numbing Period.”

Widower Grief, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, WidowerFred ColbyOctober 14, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorMen’s Grief Groups, Widower’s syndrome, Widower information, Stages of grief, healing grief, Coping with complicated griefComment

Loving Yourself to Health

Ask yourself: “What would your wife want for you? Would she want you to be circling the drain of self-induced pain and grief, or would she want you to be active, reengaged with life, and continuing to find ways to love and be loved?”

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 16, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, How a widower can keep their relationships, Grief therapyComment

Ignoring the Grief Others Are Feeling

It is easy during the first year or so after your wife’s passing to become so immersed in your own grief that you ignore the grief others are feeling. Let’s face it, during this time our grief is overwhelming! It often blocks out everything else so that we are unaware of much that’s going on around us, even though our survival depends in part on our ability to maintain our most important relationships.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 2, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Widower’s syndrome, How a widower can keep their relationshipsComment

Questions About New Relationships – Part 2

Should the new girlfriend insist on removing all the photos and mementos of the past relationship? How does a widow/widower give their new relationships focus, attention, intentional care, and nurturing while keeping reminders of a late spouse hanging around?

Widower, Widower blog, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyJuly 8, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, How to repair broken relationships with a widower, Is a widower ready to dateComment

Questions About New Relationships – Part 1

Do you think a widower (with proper time for grief and healing) can go on to love another as much as the late wife? This question was posed to my by a therapist and doctoral student, who works with Couples in Conflict Management. This article speaks to this and other difficult questions for widowers.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widowers and datingFred ColbyJune 23, 2024Fred Colby, Authorwidower building new relationships, Stages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Is a widower ready to dateComment

Why Are We So Damned Lonely?

A friend who recently lost his wife and I were commiserating recently over how damned lonely we were soon after losing our wives. This is despite our backgrounds which included interacting with hundreds (if not thousands) of people yearly.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyMay 28, 2024Fred ColbyStages of grief, overcoming widower isolation, healing grief, widower loneliness Comments

YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING

I certainly don’t know everything! And… more than likely, neither do you.

One of the biggest shocks upon entering deep grieving as a widower is the realization of how ill-prepared we are to deal with it… much less survive it!…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyApril 29, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Deep grieving, Healing GriefComment

Golden Bachelor Marriage Ends Quickly – Why?

Recent headlines about the very brief three-month marriage of Widower Gerry Turner (the first Golden Bachelor) and Theresa Nist coming to an end raise some interesting questions.

The pace of the Golden Bachelor program is frenetic. It expects a Bachelor to identify, court, and then marry a new bride after just a few months of meeting and dating a wide variety of women. This is unrealistic…

Widower Relationships, Widowers and dating, Widower, Widower blogFred ColbyApril 15, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Gerry Turner, Is a widower ready to date, How a widower can keep their relationshipsComment

Sex and the Widower

Sex is a topic that we widowers often have difficulty discussing with each other, much less with friends, family, or even therapists. And yet, it needs to be addressed. Why?…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Relationships, Widowers and datingFred ColbyApril 1, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Deep grieving, Coping with death of wife, Sex and Widower Comments

WHAT CAN MATT AND BEN TEACH WIDOWERS?

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck seem an unlikely pair to be teaching Widowers how to heal and regain purpose and joy in their lives. But in fact, they are a great example for us to follow….

Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower support, Widower, Widower blogFred ColbyMarch 11, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Men’s Grief Groups, Healing Grief, Coping with death of wifeComment

OVERCOMING LONELINESS AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

… Men are not supposed to show grief, because we are men. I call BS on that one, and here is where our worlds overlap. Did you know that 80% of all suicides in America are committed by men? Read that again, and let’s go upstream and talk about mental health.

One of the risk factors for suicide is the loss of a relationship…. we must be on our A-game to guard against intrusive thoughts like suicide, and most of these occur when we are alone. So, let’s look at loneliness a bit…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower supportFred ColbyFebruary 5, 2024Fred Colby, Authorwidower loneliness, Behavior of a widower, Suicidal thoughts, Coping with complicated grief, Deep grievingComment

YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE

We widowers often hear that soon after the death of our wives we will lose many friends and possibly some family ties. This frequently occurs despite our best efforts to maintain these previously reliable and important relationships. This can result in…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJanuary 9, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorDeath of Spouse, Coping with death of wife, Widower’s syndrome, How a widower can keep their relationshipsComment

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