Remember that feeling of peace, that feeling of being comfortable with yourself, your circumstances, and your marriage? Maybe you were 10, 20, or even 30 years into your marriage before you reached this point. Many of us were fortunate enough to have achieved that blissful stage of existence… even if it was only for a few moments here and there…
Read MoreSome of our best learning opportunities come from our worst experiences. I have had a few of those, and over time realized that I could learn something from each one….
You may have faced challenges like bankruptcy, losing your home, conflicts with loved ones, natural disasters, or a serious illness.
These experiences often come upon us suddenly and may seem insurmountable.
Read MoreMost widowers, even the more extroverted of us, tend to shy away from discussing topics that seem too personal, too sensitive, or just plain uncomfortable. As men, we are trained to keep these things to ourselves. So we just don’t discuss them privately or in public. The negative effects of this are bad enough during normal times… but much worse when we become a self-isolated, lonely, grieving widower wallowing in our sorrow and thoughts at home…
Read MoreOne of the early signs that you might be pulling out of deep grieving and beginning to heal is the first time you laugh at a memory of your wife.
At first you may recoil at the fact that you are laughing at something she did, thinking you are betraying her and should suffer now and forever…
Read MoreWhen you first realize that you now have some unexpected options, you may not want them. They may scare you, embarrass you, or make you feel guilty.
Why? Because during the first few months of grieving the last thing you will want to think about are the choices that lie before you….
Read MoreShortly after my wife of 45 years passed in 2015, I found myself buried in grief. I knew I was in trouble and could not find the answers by myself. So, I asked, “Where can I go for help?” I knew a little about therapy but had never really taken advantage of it.
For many of us, choosing therapy may lead to having to make a choice: “Do I turn to a church for help? Or, do I turn to secular organizations for help?”
Read MoreHow often have you said or thought, “I can’t do that! I am not good at it and never will be.”… After your wife passes, you may be faced with doing many things that you think you cannot do.
Read MoreAre you floating in a sea of grief with only a life vest of memories keeping you afloat? If you are not careful that life vest can become a diving weight belt of anger, regrets, and fear that drags you down into depression…
Read MoreAfter the loss of our wives, many of us find ourselves unable to communicate effectively with others. Even those of us who come from careers in communication may find ourselves suddenly at a loss for words… Learning to communicate with others again is not only vital for us to heal but also critical if we want to re-engage with life again in any meaningful way.
Read MoreYou had a romantic wedding, celebrated the birth of children, and got comfortable with your happily-ever-after life. Then tragedy struck and you realized how fragile the human body can be. Suddenly, you faced the prospect of seeing the source of your happily-ever-after life take her last breath…
Read MoreEmpathy is critical to healing grief. For me, it was second only to gratitude as a skill that I had to develop in order to pull myself out of the deep depression and suffering I experienced during the first year of my grieving. Many widowers find their ability to be empathetic to others is greatly enhanced after the loss of their wives.
Read MoreWhether you believe in God, Allah, Yahweh, or a spiritual universe, you probably have heard the phrase, “Don’t bow down to false gods.” When we are grieving, many false gods may tempt us and drag us into a pit of despair…
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