Shortly after my wife of 45 years passed in 2015, I found myself buried in grief. I knew I was in trouble and could not find the answers by myself. So, I asked, “Where can I go for help?” I knew a little about therapy but had never really taken advantage of it.
For many of us, choosing therapy may lead to having to make a choice: “Do I turn to a church for help? Or, do I turn to secular organizations for help?”
Read MoreHow do you steel yourself against the trauma of upcoming special days and holidays. We each may have very different experiences during these special days.
Read MoreThe surprise celebrity who emerged from the group was Charles, an unlikely romantic figure. Upon first meeting him, he does not strike you as someone who would become the object of affection for so many women viewers!
Read MoreA friend who recently lost his wife and I were commiserating recently over how damned lonely we were soon after losing our wives. This is despite our backgrounds which included interacting with hundreds (if not thousands) of people yearly.
Read More… Men are not supposed to show grief, because we are men. I call BS on that one, and here is where our worlds overlap. Did you know that 80% of all suicides in America are committed by men? Read that again, and let’s go upstream and talk about mental health.
One of the risk factors for suicide is the loss of a relationship…. we must be on our A-game to guard against intrusive thoughts like suicide, and most of these occur when we are alone. So, let’s look at loneliness a bit…
Read MoreWidowers are easy targets for those who would prey upon our loneliness and desperation for female companionship after losing our wives. These click-bait appeals are often specifically targeted towards older men who are single or widowed…
Read MoreOften after our wives pass, another crisis will come along that shakes us and causes us to confront our current state of thinking about our life going forward. This may be just what is needed to wake us and point us into a more promising future…
Read MoreWhen our wives pass, we often ask, “How we can remember, honor, and love them going forward?” That is a huge question for many of us. The answer often plays a major role in how we process and heal our grief…
Read MoreGrief and its inevitable partner, loneliness, cause pain unlike anything most have ever experienced before. The love we felt so strongly for our wives now turns on us and causes emotional, physical, and psychological pain. The sudden absence of love being given back to us leaves a hole that seems bottomless and unfillable; while our inability to show our love to a physically present wife frustrates, confuses, and hurts us.
Read MoreAfter the loss of our wives, many of us find ourselves unable to communicate effectively with others. Even those of us who come from careers in communication may find ourselves suddenly at a loss for words… Learning to communicate with others again is not only vital for us to heal but also critical if we want to re-engage with life again in any meaningful way.
Read MoreOnce you have made the decision to date again as a widower, prepare yourself for the shock of entering a much different dating scene after an absence of many years…
Read MoreAfter my wife’s death, I became increasingly concerned about my ability to make sound decisions. At times the world around me seemed surreal… and I often wanted to shut the door on everyone and just hide in my grief.
As I began to recognize the impact of these issues on me, I became fearful that I would make bad decisions that might threaten my relationships…
Read MoreOne day after a particularly bad night I was driven to take a hard look at myself and where I was going. It was not a pretty picture. After some deep thought and prayer, I came up with a clear purpose statement to guide me going forward…
Read MoreSex in particular can entice us away from those long-held beliefs which have served as our foundation for years. In the wrong hands, it can be used to blind us and turn us to less ethical or honorable practices.
Read MoreTwo years after my wife’s death, almost to the week, my mother passed away. As I gathered with my five siblings to honor our mom, I could not help but notice the difference in the grieving process….
Read MoreWhether you believe in God, Allah, Yahweh, or a spiritual universe, you probably have heard the phrase, “Don’t bow down to false gods.” When we are grieving, many false gods may tempt us and drag us into a pit of despair…
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