We feel so isolated and alone when we begin our grief journey. Not only do we believe no one can understand what we are going through, but we feel unable or unwilling to convey what we are going through to others. We are often desperate to have our wives back in our lives… and find ourselves in a deep void that is beyond our comprehension or ability to explain to anyone…
Read MoreDon’t become the grumpy old man next door who is always growling at everyone because you think you are always right, and they are always wrong. Like the Tom Hanks character in the movie A Man Called Otto, you no longer have your wife to run interference for you or to smooth things over with those who you offend…
Read MoreOne of the early signs that you might be pulling out of deep grieving and beginning to heal is the first time you laugh at a memory of your wife.
At first you may recoil at the fact that you are laughing at something she did, thinking you are betraying her and should suffer now and forever…
Read MoreWhen you first realize that you now have some unexpected options, you may not want them. They may scare you, embarrass you, or make you feel guilty.
Why? Because during the first few months of grieving the last thing you will want to think about are the choices that lie before you….
Read More…many of us feel lost and abandoned after our wives pass away. Our sense of purpose is often taken from us and we feel like a rudderless power boat spinning aimlessly on the ocean of life. It is scary, and for many of us, there do not appear to be any answers.
Read MoreThis is the second of two blogs on this topic. Part One outlined the Risk Factors, while Part Two deals with some solutions for the issues identified below.
There are several major risk factors faced by Widowers during their first year of grieving. Any of these can lead to life-threatening mental and physical health issues. Many, if not most of us (including me), have or will experience them at some point in our grief journey.
Read MoreThis is the first of two blogs on this topic. Part Two will deal with solutions to each of the following issues.
There are several major risk factors faced by Widowers during their first year of grieving. Any of these can lead to life-threatening mental and physical health issues.
Read MoreShortly after my wife of 45 years passed in 2015, I found myself buried in grief. I knew I was in trouble and could not find the answers by myself. So, I asked, “Where can I go for help?” I knew a little about therapy but had never really taken advantage of it.
For many of us, choosing therapy may lead to having to make a choice: “Do I turn to a church for help? Or, do I turn to secular organizations for help?”
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Widowers desperately need the support of others during their grieving. Hospices, therapists, and others have found that Men’s Grief Groups are able to help widowers in ways that coed groups can not.
Read MoreHow do you steel yourself against the trauma of upcoming special days and holidays. We each may have very different experiences during these special days.
Read MoreThe surprise celebrity who emerged from the group was Charles, an unlikely romantic figure. Upon first meeting him, he does not strike you as someone who would become the object of affection for so many women viewers!
Read MoreUnfortunately, we cannot stop the world and get off when our wife passes. So, we end up adding this humongous load of grief on top of everything else going on….
Read MoreOn the evening of June 29, 2015, I began a journey for which I was ill-prepared. After holding my wife as she passed, I entered the grieving experience with no idea of what to expect along the way.
For the first couple of weeks, I experienced the “Numbing Period.”
Read MoreIf you were a caregiver for your wife for an extended time, there is a good chance that you experienced anticipatory grief. Expectation of imminent death can be both a blessing and a curse. Our aversion to admitting that she will die may cause us to avoid contemplating what the future might bring. And yet, many symptoms of grief may emerge during this pre-death period.
Read MoreAsk yourself: “What would your wife want for you? Would she want you to be circling the drain of self-induced pain and grief, or would she want you to be active, reengaged with life, and continuing to find ways to love and be loved?”
Read MoreIt is easy during the first year or so after your wife’s passing to become so immersed in your own grief that you ignore the grief others are feeling. Let’s face it, during this time our grief is overwhelming! It often blocks out everything else so that we are unaware of much that’s going on around us, even though our survival depends in part on our ability to maintain our most important relationships.
Read More“My wife, she's still a nice person but she has no patience anymore and it's like we're fighting a constant battle… I'm facing terrible depression. I am a strong person but everybody does have a breaking point.” (T. Kemp)
Read MoreSuppose we do enter into a new and meaningful relationship with someone. In that case, the inevitable question that may emerge is whether you should get married, move in together, stay single, or try Living Apart Together (LAT)?
Read MoreFriends and family members are often afraid to speak with a new widower… and with good reason as we are frequently emotionally traumatized after losing our wives. The following summarizes advice I shared during some recent radio interviews.
Read MoreShould the new girlfriend insist on removing all the photos and mementos of the past relationship? How does a widow/widower give their new relationships focus, attention, intentional care, and nurturing while keeping reminders of a late spouse hanging around?
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