When our wife passes, we suddenly lose our Home-Life as we knew it. If we are still working, we are often forgiven if we suddenly become buried in our Work-Life. This can be unhealthy and lead to medical, emotional, and mental issues which can spiral into major problems….
Read MoreIf you already have all the answers, don’t waste your time asking others for help… because you won’t be able to hear any advice that is offered, no matter how good it is. However, if you feel lost and are ready to hear what others can share with you, then by all means ask for help… and the sooner the better.
Read MoreGrief, really deep grief, can change you! I see examples of this change through my men’s grief group, responses to my online blogs, online widowers’ groups, and chance meetings I have with fellow widowers in my community. This change does not happen overnight, it can take months if not years to happen.
Read MoreValentine’s Day, like birthdays and other special days, may bring back painful memories that set us back in our healing process. Knowing this in advance can help us to prepare so we can overcome their impacts…
Read MoreAfter our wife passes, many of us will ask the question we desperately want an answer to:
“Does she still exist? Is she still aware of me? Can she hear me or see me? Is there any way for me to communicate with her?”…
Read MoreHave you ever been the one to make everyone in the room suddenly freeze, their puzzled sights pointed in your direction after asking something that seemed completely okay at the time?
When a 32-year-old woman by the username u/Ideal-Mind3099 decided to ask her new colleague “James”, a recent widower, about the wedding band on his finger – things went into an opposite direction from what she expected….
Read MoreWhen we first enter deep grieving after losing our wives, we often do everything we can think of to hold on to her. This can include (as it did for me) going through all the old photos, slides, and mementos to try and keep her close and to live in the past.
A part of us has been ripped away, and we don’t want to let it go.
Read MoreSo often during our deep grieving we fall into the trap of condemning ourselves, dwelling on our regrets, and/or doubting ourselves. Instead of celebrating the great marriage we had and honoring our wives, we turn on ourselves and focus on the negatives….
Read MoreIf you are a widower looking for help, ideas, or support, this blog is for you! At this time of year many of us have a difficult time getting through all the poignant reminders of our spouse. This is NOT the time to be the silent loner. It is the time to reach out to others, and let them help you if they are able to.
Read MoreAfter the loss of our wives, many of us face the question, “Should I sell my house?” and the follow-up question, “Where will I go if I sell it?”
You may find, as I did, that the answer to the first is….
Read MoreBesides experiencing an overwhelming and sometimes terrifying loneliness, for widowers the loss of their wife can often leave them feeling lost and without direction. As husbands we often feel that providing for our family (our wife in particular), is our first and most important purpose. With her gone you cannot help but ask, “What is my purpose now?”
Read MoreShortly after my wife’s death, I went to the mountains by myself for a week and screamed as loud and often as I wanted to. But now, 5 years later, I no longer feel the anger I felt then. I now forget how easy it was to cut myself off from others, and to let the anger and depression take over.
Read MoreThat was my reaction when I recently found out that I had prostate cancer and would have to start treatment soon. When you get prostate cancer, suddenly everyone you know is dealing with the same or a similar problem… We widowers seem to be primed to get all kinds of serious illnesses within a year or two of our wives passing.
Read MoreA widower, and married man, and a divorced man walk into a bar and the bartenders asks, “What will it be gentlemen?”…
Read MoreHave you ever known someone who is so kind, so caring, so considerate and so wanting to please you and everyone around them that they drive you kind-of-crazy? In response, do you bristle, offer abrupt answers to their questions, and/or push them away every time you are around them.
Well, that may be the feeling that you have around everyone after you lose your wife….
Read MoreNothing can be more disconcerting for sons and daughters than to see their father cry, especially full out sobbing! Friends, family, workmates and children can often become fearful and at a total loss as to how to respond when a widower breaks down in tears.
Read MoreHow do we know that our new friend is the “right one”?
In our messed-up psycho-emotional state it is so easy to make a bad decision and have our feelings dictated by wrong motives. It is easy to think that we want to marry this wonderful new woman we just met. (I know this from personal experience.)
Read MoreAlmost all of us will arrive at a point early in the grieving process when we realize that we are now all alone. Even if we have kids to take care of, friends and family nearby, and/or church members supporting us… we will still feel that we are isolated and possibly losing all connection to reality. This realization can make the world around us seem scary and surreal…
Read MoreWe feel so isolated and alone when we begin our grief journey. Not only do we believe no one can understand what we are going through, but we feel unable or unwilling to convey what we are going through to others. Finding our Brothers in Grief often helps widowers to get through this worst of times.
Read MoreWhether you believe in God, Allah, Yahweh, or a spiritual universe, you probably have heard the phrase, “Don’t bow down to false gods.” When we are grieving, many false gods may tempt us and drag us into a pit of despair…
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