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Addressing grief, loneliness, pain, relationships, fear, doubt, loss of control, and more. Drawing upon personal experience, research, lessons learned, and input from thousands of widowers since 2016. Helping fellow widowers through 180,000 readings to date.

Posts in Widower Grief Experience

Your Brothers in Grief Can Help You

Your Brothers in Grief Can Help You

We feel so isolated and alone when we begin our grief journey. Not only do we believe no one can understand what we are going through, but we feel unable or unwilling to convey what we are going through to others. We are often desperate to have our wives back in our lives… and find ourselves in a deep void that is beyond our comprehension or ability to explain to anyone…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyMarch 17, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Healing Grief, widowers asking for helpComment

LAUGHING AND HEALING WITH YOUR WIFE

LAUGHING AND HEALING WITH YOUR WIFE

One of the early signs that you might be pulling out of deep grieving and beginning to heal is the first time you laugh at a memory of your wife.

At first you may recoil at the fact that you are laughing at something she did, thinking you are betraying her and should suffer now and forever…

Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower GriefFred ColbyFebruary 17, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorWidower blogs, Coping with death of wife, healing grief, Grief therapy, How to heal after a spouse diesComment

YOU HAVE OPTIONS NOW! DO YOU WANT THEM?

YOU HAVE OPTIONS NOW! DO YOU WANT THEM?

When you first realize that you now have some unexpected options, you may not want them. They may scare you, embarrass you, or make you feel guilty.

Why? Because during the first few months of grieving the last thing you will want to think about are the choices that lie before you….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyFebruary 3, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorCoping with death of wife, healing grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower lonelinessComment

Finding Your New Purpose Helps You Heal

Finding Your New Purpose Helps You Heal

…many of us feel lost and abandoned after our wives pass away. Our sense of purpose is often taken from us and we feel like a rudderless power boat spinning aimlessly on the ocean of life. It is scary, and for many of us, there do not appear to be any answers.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJanuary 20, 2025Fred ColbyhWidower Health, healing grief, Grief therapy, overcoming widower isolation, widower loneliness, Stages of griefComment

Widower Risk Factors – Part Two

Widower Risk Factors – Part Two

This is the second of two blogs on this topic. Part One outlined the Risk Factors, while Part Two deals with some solutions for the issues identified below.

There are several major risk factors faced by Widowers during their first year of grieving. Any of these can lead to life-threatening mental and physical health issues. Many, if not most of us (including me), have or will experience them at some point in our grief journey.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyJanuary 6, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorWidower problems, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Widower Health, widower loneliness, Stages of griefComment

Widower Risk Factors – Part One

Widower Risk Factors – Part One

This is the first of two blogs on this topic. Part Two will deal with solutions to each of the following issues.

There are several major risk factors faced by Widowers during their first year of grieving. Any of these can lead to life-threatening mental and physical health issues.

Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blog, Widower, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyDecember 23, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorWidower problems, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Widower Health, widower loneliness, Stages of grief Comments

Is Religious or Secular Grief Counseling Best for You?

Is Religious or Secular Grief Counseling Best for You?

Shortly after my wife of 45 years passed in 2015, I found myself buried in grief. I knew I was in trouble and could not find the answers by myself. So, I asked, “Where can I go for help?” I knew a little about therapy but had never really taken advantage of it.

For many of us, choosing therapy may lead to having to make a choice: “Do I turn to a church for help? Or, do I turn to secular organizations for help?”

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 9, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorGrief therapy, healing grief, Coping with complicated grief, Men’s Grief Groups, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower lonelinessComment

Charles’ Lessons for Widowers

Charles’ Lessons for Widowers

The surprise celebrity who emerged from the group was Charles, an unlikely romantic figure. Upon first meeting him, he does not strike you as someone who would become the object of affection for so many women viewers!

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 11, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorGolden Bachelor, overcoming widower isolation, Men’s Grief Groups, Healing Grief, widower lonelinessComment

Overcoming Grief,  Anger, Stress, Etc.

Overcoming Grief, Anger, Stress, Etc.

Unfortunately, we cannot stop the world and get off when our wife passes. So, we end up adding this humongous load of grief on top of everything else going on….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 28, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Coping with complicated grief, Men’s Grief Groups, Survivor's guilt, Widower angerComment

Why Go To Group Therapy?

Why Go To Group Therapy?

On the evening of June 29, 2015, I began a journey for which I was ill-prepared. After holding my wife as she passed, I entered the grieving experience with no idea of what to expect along the way.

For the first couple of weeks, I experienced the “Numbing Period.”

Widower Grief, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, WidowerFred ColbyOctober 14, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorMen’s Grief Groups, Widower’s syndrome, Widower information, Stages of grief, healing grief, Coping with complicated griefComment

Surviving Anticipatory Grief

Surviving Anticipatory Grief

If you were a caregiver for your wife for an extended time, there is a good chance that you experienced anticipatory grief. Expectation of imminent death can be both a blessing and a curse. Our aversion to admitting that she will die may cause us to avoid contemplating what the future might bring. And yet, many symptoms of grief may emerge during this pre-death period.

Widower, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbySeptember 30, 2024Fred Colby, Authorwidower book, Widower syndrome, widower information, anticipatory grief Comments

Loving Yourself to Health

Loving Yourself to Health

Ask yourself: “What would your wife want for you? Would she want you to be circling the drain of self-induced pain and grief, or would she want you to be active, reengaged with life, and continuing to find ways to love and be loved?”

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 16, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, How a widower can keep their relationships, Grief therapyComment

Remorse About Your Wife’s Illness and Death

Remorse About Your Wife’s Illness and Death

“My wife, she's still a nice person but she has no patience anymore and it's like we're fighting a constant battle… I'm facing terrible depression. I am a strong person but everybody does have a breaking point.” (T. Kemp)

Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, WidowerFred ColbyAugust 19, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Coping with death of wife, Grieving, Suicidal thoughtsComment

Why Are We So Damned Lonely?

Why Are We So Damned Lonely?

A friend who recently lost his wife and I were commiserating recently over how damned lonely we were soon after losing our wives. This is despite our backgrounds which included interacting with hundreds (if not thousands) of people yearly.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyMay 28, 2024Fred ColbyStages of grief, overcoming widower isolation, healing grief, widower loneliness Comments

WHAT CAN MATT AND BEN TEACH WIDOWERS?

WHAT CAN MATT AND BEN TEACH WIDOWERS?

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck seem an unlikely pair to be teaching Widowers how to heal and regain purpose and joy in their lives. But in fact, they are a great example for us to follow….

Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower support, Widower, Widower blogFred ColbyMarch 11, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Men’s Grief Groups, Healing Grief, Coping with death of wifeComment

YOU ARE THE BOSS NOW!

YOU ARE THE BOSS NOW!

Remember when you were young, married, and full of misconceptions about your life and marriage? Previously, in our more male-dominated society, you might have believed that as the husband you were the “boss” in the family!

Ha.. ha! Many of us eventually found what a joke that belief was! …

Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, WidowerFred ColbyFebruary 19, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Healing Grief, widowers taking responsibility, Coping with complicated griefComment

IN HER NAME

When our wives pass, we often ask, “How we can remember, honor, and love them going forward?” That is a huge question for many of us. The answer often plays a major role in how we process and heal our grief…

Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower, Widower blogFred ColbyDecember 11, 2023Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, widower embracing grief, Widower syndrome, widower loneliness, Coping with death of wifeComment

We Are Worthy!!

We Are Worthy!!

Whether quoting from Wayne’s World or the Bible, the phrase “I am not worthy” may describe how we feel at times after our wives pass away. A ritual of self-condemnation and feelings of inadequacy often overwhelm us, especially when we are alone. It is so easy to fall into a pattern of blaming ourselves or others….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyNovember 27, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Widower syndrome, healing griefComment

WHY DOES GERRY TURNER CRY SO MUCH?

WHY DOES GERRY TURNER CRY SO MUCH?

OK… I confess. My girlfriend enticed me into watching The Golden Bachelor in which 73-year-old Gerry Turner (a widower since 2017) meets, dates, and engages in numerous activities (dancing, 3-wheeling, Pickleball, and more) while trying to determine if one of 22 women “candidates” would be someone to spend the rest of his life with. In the process, Gerry frequently finds himself in surprisingly emotional circumstances… and often cries unashamedly on camera…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 24, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorJerry Turner, Golden Bachelor, Stages of grief, Widower memories, Grief therapy, healing griefComment

ANGRY AND GRATEFUL AT THE SAME TIME?

ANGRY AND GRATEFUL AT THE SAME TIME?

Just try to be angry and grateful at the same time. Hard, isn’t it?

It is difficult because the focus on one interferes with your ability to do the other…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbySeptember 18, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, healing grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, BereavementComment