Is Religious or Secular Grief Counseling Best for You?

Shortly after my wife of 45 years passed in 2015, I found myself buried in grief. I knew I was in trouble and could not find the answers by myself. So, I asked, “Where can I go for help?” I knew a little about therapy but had never really taken advantage of it.

For many of us, choosing therapy may lead to having to make a choice: “Do I turn to a church for help? Or, do I turn to secular organizations for help?”

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 9, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorGrief therapy, healing grief, Coping with complicated grief, Men’s Grief Groups, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower lonelinessComment

Overcoming Grief, Anger, Stress, Etc.

Unfortunately, we cannot stop the world and get off when our wife passes. So, we end up adding this humongous load of grief on top of everything else going on….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 28, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Coping with complicated grief, Men’s Grief Groups, Survivor's guilt, Widower angerComment

Why Go To Group Therapy?

On the evening of June 29, 2015, I began a journey for which I was ill-prepared. After holding my wife as she passed, I entered the grieving experience with no idea of what to expect along the way.

For the first couple of weeks, I experienced the “Numbing Period.”

Widower Grief, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, WidowerFred ColbyOctober 14, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorMen’s Grief Groups, Widower’s syndrome, Widower information, Stages of grief, healing grief, Coping with complicated griefComment

YOU ARE THE BOSS NOW!

Remember when you were young, married, and full of misconceptions about your life and marriage? Previously, in our more male-dominated society, you might have believed that as the husband you were the “boss” in the family!

Ha.. ha! Many of us eventually found what a joke that belief was! …

Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, WidowerFred ColbyFebruary 19, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Healing Grief, widowers taking responsibility, Coping with complicated griefComment

OVERCOMING LONELINESS AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

… Men are not supposed to show grief, because we are men. I call BS on that one, and here is where our worlds overlap. Did you know that 80% of all suicides in America are committed by men? Read that again, and let’s go upstream and talk about mental health.

One of the risk factors for suicide is the loss of a relationship…. we must be on our A-game to guard against intrusive thoughts like suicide, and most of these occur when we are alone. So, let’s look at loneliness a bit…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower supportFred ColbyFebruary 5, 2024Fred Colby, Authorwidower loneliness, Behavior of a widower, Suicidal thoughts, Coping with complicated grief, Deep grievingComment

Widowers and Self-Punishment

In many cultures and religions, self-flagellation is accepted as an appropriate way to drive the demons, bad thoughts, and immoral behaviors out of oneself. Often, movies depict this with a person whipping themselves with a short whip or leather braids.

Now while we may not resort to this kind of physical purging, we often do participate in a form of self-flagellation which can be just as harmful and self-defeating…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyMarch 6, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Stages of grief, Coping with complicated grief, Widower syndrome Comments

Relationship Challenges When Your Wife is Dying

A year prior to my wife’s passing, she began to experience some upsetting physical conditions, including skin rashes and stress. This continued for a while with her unable to determine the cause or to find solutions after visiting a couple of doctors.

Around that time, she began criticizing almost anything that I did….

Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 12, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Death of Spouse, Behavior of a widower, Coping with complicated grief, Healing Grief, Grief therapyComment

Do I Need Counseling, Therapy, or Coaching?

If you already have all the answers, don’t waste your time asking others for help… because you won’t be able to hear any advice that is offered, no matter how good it is. However, if you feel lost and are ready to hear what others can share with you, then by all means ask for help… and the sooner the better.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 11, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower blogs, Widower syndrome, Coping with complicated grief, Men’s Grief Groups, Behavior of a widowerComment

Widower: Laughing With Her

One of the early signs that maybe, just maybe, you are pulling out of deep grieving and beginning to heal is the first time you laugh at a memory of your wife. At first you may recoil at the fact that you are laughing at something she did,…

Fred ColbyJune 19, 2020Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower blogs, widowers asking for help, Grieving, Coping with complicated griefComment

Widower to Widower

Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyMarch 7, 2017Coping with complicated grief, Widower’s syndrome, How to heal after a spouse dies, Men’s Grief Groups, Widower blogs, widower books

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Addressing grief, loneliness, pain, relationships, fear, doubt, loss of control, and more. Drawing upon personal experience, research, lessons learned, and input from thousands of widowers since 2016. Helping fellow widowers through 180,000 readings to date.