Have you ever known someone who is so kind, so caring, so considerate and so wanting to please you and everyone around them that they drive you kind-of-crazy? In response, do you bristle, offer abrupt answers to their questions, and/or push them away every time you are around them.
Well, that may be the feeling that you have around everyone after you lose your wife….
Read MoreThis blog is for all widowers who are struggling with grieving and isolation.
As widowers we often are advised to avoid self-isolation….In normal times we are told to get out, try new activities, meet new people, and reach out to those who still love us and are in our life. All of this is critical to eventual healing.
But now we are often advised to isolate-in-place due to COVID–19.
Read MoreOne of my mantras as a widower is: “It will never be the same again!” This is never more obvious than during the holidays. Because holiday memories are so unforgettable and because they are so important to the family as a unit, the loss of your wife just makes these days especially difficult to deal with. COVID 19 has only compounded the problems.
Read MoreNothing can be more disconcerting for sons and daughters than to see their father cry, especially full out sobbing! Friends, family, workmates and children can often become fearful and at a total loss as to how to respond when a widower breaks down in tears.
Read MoreImmersing yourself in grief after your wife dies is unavoidable, necessary, and healthy. This stage of your grief journey may go on for months, or even years. If the tables were turned, and you died first, would you want your wife to mope around in deep grieving for years after your passing? Of course not! Well then, how the heck do you pull out of this deep grieving?
Read MoreHow do we know that our new friend is the “right one”?
In our messed-up psycho-emotional state it is so easy to make a bad decision and have our feelings dictated by wrong motives. It is easy to think that we want to marry this wonderful new woman we just met. (I know this from personal experience.)
Read MoreAlmost all of us will arrive at a point early in the grieving process when we realize that we are now all alone. Even if we have kids to take care of, friends and family nearby, and/or church members supporting us… we will still feel that we are isolated and possibly losing all connection to reality. This realization can make the world around us seem scary and surreal…
Read MoreWe feel so isolated and alone when we begin our grief journey. Not only do we believe no one can understand what we are going through, but we feel unable or unwilling to convey what we are going through to others. Finding our Brothers in Grief often helps widowers to get through this worst of times.
Read MoreWhether you believe in God, Allah, Yahweh, or a spiritual universe, you probably have heard the phrase, “Don’t bow down to false gods.” When we are grieving, many false gods may tempt us and drag us into a pit of despair…
Read MoreRemember that feeling of peace, that feeling of being comfortable with yourself, your circumstances, and your marriage? Maybe you were 10, 20, or even 30 years into your marriage before you reached this point… Can you ever achieve that feeling again??
Read MoreOne of the early signs that maybe, just maybe, you are pulling out of deep grieving and beginning to heal is the first time you laugh at a memory of your wife. At first you may recoil at the fact that you are laughing at something she did,…
Read MoreIf you are a recent widower, this blog is for you!
Widowers often are advised to avoid self-isolation. It is harmful to our physical and mental health…. But now we are being forced to isolate-in-place due to COVID–19. So, how the hell are we supposed to heal now??
Read MoreShortly after my wife of 45 years passed in 2015, I found myself in the deepest pit of despair. I knew that I was in trouble and I could not find the answers all by myself. So, I asked myself, “Where can I go for help?” “Do I turn to a church for help? Or, do I turn to secular organizations for help?” For me the answer was made easier by…
Read MoreGrief can be like a cancer, festering in your body and soul until it corrupts and destroys all that is good in you. If grief is left alone or ignored while it mutates into something that threatens your very existence.
Read MoreLike me, many new widowers may find themselves minus both their wife and mother on a Mother’s Day. In my case, my wife passed in 2015 and my mom in 2017, almost exactly two years apart. …
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