Should I Move?

Every widower will at some point face the question, “Should I move out of my house?”… There is a sort of push-pull relationship with the home, in which you want to escape it…. But also want to retreat to its familiar arms…

Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyMarch 9, 2021Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, widowers asking for help, How a widower can keep their relationships, Widower Families Comments

Widower: Oh Crap! Now What?

That was my reaction when I recently found out that I had prostate cancer and would have to start treatment soon. When you get prostate cancer, suddenly everyone you know is dealing with the same or a similar problem… We widowers seem to be primed to get all kinds of serious illnesses within a year or two of our wives passing.

Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyFebruary 24, 2021Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower’s syndrome, widower grief Comments

Widower: A Widower, a married man, and a divorced man walk into a bar….

A widower, and married man, and a divorced man walk into a bar and the bartenders asks, “What will it be gentlemen?”…

Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyFebruary 9, 2021Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower blogs, widower embracing grief, Widower FamiliesComment

Widower: A Message for a Widower’s Friends and Family

A kind word can save a widower. Amazing, but true! When a widower is buried in grief, just one kind word from someone can make their grief bearable and make their chances of surviving their grief intact more likely. More than once a friend called me at just the right time and offered kind words of support, or to meet with me, or to help in some way….

Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blogFred ColbyJanuary 25, 2021Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Families, widowers asking for help, Widower’s syndrome, Blogs for widowersComment

Widower: Pushing Them Away

Have you ever known someone who is so kind, so caring, so considerate and so wanting to please you and everyone around them that they drive you kind-of-crazy? In response, do you bristle, offer abrupt answers to their questions, and/or push them away every time you are around them.

Well, that may be the feeling that you have around everyone after you lose your wife….

Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJanuary 12, 2021Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower’s syndrome, Widower blogs Comments

Widower: Surviving Self-Isolation

This blog is for all widowers who are struggling with grieving and isolation.

As widowers we often are advised to avoid self-isolation….In normal times we are told to get out, try new activities, meet new people, and reach out to those who still love us and are in our life. All of this is critical to eventual healing.

But now we are often advised to isolate-in-place due to COVID–19.

Widower blog, Widower Gifts, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 16, 2020Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, widowers asking for help, Stages of grief, Widower therapy Comments

Widower: EMBRACE OR ESCAPE THE HOLIDAYS?

One of my mantras as a widower is: “It will never be the same again!” This is never more obvious than during the holidays. Because holiday memories are so unforgettable and because they are so important to the family as a unit, the loss of your wife just makes these days especially difficult to deal with. COVID 19 has only compounded the problems.

Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyNovember 17, 2020Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Families, Widower blogs, widower embracing grief, widower grief Comments

Widower: BIG BOYS DO CRY!

Nothing can be more disconcerting for sons and daughters than to see their father cry, especially full out sobbing! Friends, family, workmates and children can often become fearful and at a total loss as to how to respond when a widower breaks down in tears.

Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, WidowerFred ColbyNovember 3, 2020Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, widowers asking for help, Widower therapy, How to repair broken relationships with a widower, Widower FamiliesComment

Widower: Are Success and Happiness Possible?

Immersing yourself in grief after your wife dies is unavoidable, necessary, and healthy. This stage of your grief journey may go on for months, or even years. If the tables were turned, and you died first, would you want your wife to mope around in deep grieving for years after your passing? Of course not! Well then, how the heck do you pull out of this deep grieving?

Widower Self Help, Widower Grief, Widower blogFred ColbyOctober 22, 2020Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, widowers asking for help, widower grief, Blogs for widowers Comments

Widower: Maid, Cook, Concubine or Wife?

How do we know that our new friend is the “right one”?

In our messed-up psycho-emotional state it is so easy to make a bad decision and have our feelings dictated by wrong motives. It is easy to think that we want to marry this wonderful new woman we just met. (I know this from personal experience.)

Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 22, 2020Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, widower grief, Widower’s syndrome, Grieving, Healing Grief, widower building new relationshipsComment

Widower: Alone and Desperate!

Almost all of us will arrive at a point early in the grieving process when we realize that we are now all alone. Even if we have kids to take care of, friends and family nearby, and/or church members supporting us… we will still feel that we are isolated and possibly losing all connection to reality. This realization can make the world around us seem scary and surreal…

Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 9, 2020Fred Colby, AuthorWidower blogs, Widower Health, widower grief, Widower behavior Comments

Widower: Brothers in Grief

We feel so isolated and alone when we begin our grief journey. Not only do we believe no one can understand what we are going through, but we feel unable or unwilling to convey what we are going through to others. Finding our Brothers in Grief often helps widowers to get through this worst of times.

Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyAugust 12, 2020Fred Colby, AuthorWidower blogs, Widower Health, Widow and widower groups near me (how to find), widowers asking for help, Widower behavior Comments

Widower: Rejecting false gods

Whether you believe in God, Allah, Yahweh, or a spiritual universe, you probably have heard the phrase, “Don’t bow down to false gods.” When we are grieving, many false gods may tempt us and drag us into a pit of despair…

Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJuly 28, 2020Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, Widower Health, Blogs for widowers, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower loneliness, Widower Isolation Comments

Widowers: Is Contentment Even Possible?

Remember that feeling of peace, that feeling of being comfortable with yourself, your circumstances, and your marriage? Maybe you were 10, 20, or even 30 years into your marriage before you reached this point… Can you ever achieve that feeling again??

Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower GriefFred ColbyJuly 13, 2020Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower blogs, widower grief, Widower behavior, Grieving, widower building new relationshipsComment

Widower: Self-Isolation – What Now With COVID-19??

If you are a recent widower, this blog is for you!

Widowers often are advised to avoid self-isolation. It is harmful to our physical and mental health…. But now we are being forced to isolate-in-place due to COVID–19. So, how the hell are we supposed to heal now??

Fred ColbyMarch 21, 2020Widower, widower grief, Grieving, Bereavement, Healing Grief, Widower Isolation Comment

Widower: Counseling – Religious or Secular?

Shortly after my wife of 45 years passed in 2015, I found myself in the deepest pit of despair. I knew that I was in trouble and I could not find the answers all by myself. So, I asked myself, “Where can I go for help?” “Do I turn to a church for help? Or, do I turn to secular organizations for help?” For me the answer was made easier by…

Widower Self HelpFred ColbyMarch 10, 2020Fred Colby, AuthorWidower, widower grief, how to help a grieving widower, Widower and religion, Widower therapyComment

Storytelling Yourself to Healing

Grief can be like a cancer, festering in your body and soul until it corrupts and destroys all that is good in you. If grief is left alone or ignored while it mutates into something that threatens your very existence.

Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 9, 2019Fred Colby, AuthorWidower, widowers taking responsibility, widower embracing griefComment

A New Widower's Challenge on Mother's Day

Like me, many new widowers may find themselves minus both their wife and mother on a Mother’s Day. In my case, my wife passed in 2015 and my mom in 2017, almost exactly two years apart. …

Fred ColbyMay 12, 2018Widower blogs, widower books, widower resources, overcoming widower isolation, widowers taking responsibility, Widower’s complicated grief, When to start dating after death of spouse Comments

Widower to Widower

Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyMarch 7, 2017Coping with complicated grief, Widower’s syndrome, How to heal after a spouse dies, Men’s Grief Groups, Widower blogs, widower books

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