First-Ever Date? Girlfriend? or Lover?

Was your wife the first woman/girl you ever:

· dated?

· kissed?

· asked to become your girlfriend?

· made love to?

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 30, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, Is a widower ready to date, Behavior of a widower, widower building new relationshipsComment

Imposters Syndrome – Overcoming Self-Doubts

Robin Williams, Richard Nixon, Oprah Winfrey, Ernest Hemingway, Vincent Van Gogh, Marilyn Monroe, John Steinbeck, George Washington, John F Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln, and many others struggled with their self-esteem and thought themselves imposters at some point during their lifetime.

As widowers, we often experience the same self-doubts.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 14, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Widower’s complicated grief, Widower syndrome, Widower helpComment

Widower: God, Football, Sex and Gold Diggers

Sex in particular can entice us away from those long-held beliefs which have served as our foundation for years. In the wrong hands, it can be used to blind us and turn us to less ethical or honorable practices.

Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widowers and dating, Widower blogFred ColbyOctober 6, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower syndrome, widower loneliness, Widower and sex Comments

Accepting Your Partner’s Faults

Many of us who lose a close loved one, tend to idealize them. This is carried to the max when the loved one was your wife of many years. All her faults, bad habits, odd behaviors that drove you nuts, and even those moments of disagreement seem to just disappear.

Widower, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 23, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Death of Spouse, Idealization of spouse Comments

8 Newbie Widower Mistakes

During the first year of being a widower, we often find ourselves:

· Unable to sleep more than 2 – 4 hours a night,

· Sinking into a depression with constant sobbing,

· Unable to determine what is real and what is unreal,

· Craving to have a woman in our lives,

· Losing focus on what we are trying to work on, or

· Unable to communicate with others.

Does this sound like a good place to be when trying to make life-altering decisions? Hell no!

Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyApril 19, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, Behavior of a widower, Widower’s complicated grief, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower booksComment

Loneliness Amplifies Anger, Guilt, and Regrets

During an overwhelming sense of loneliness, guilt, anger, and regrets can become amplified to levels that overwhelm you. If you are not careful, this can lead to complicated grief with even deeper sorrow and depression.

Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blogFred ColbyApril 6, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, Widower’s complicated grief, Behavior of a widower Comments

Healing Through Empathy

Empathy is critical to healing grief. For me, it was second only to gratitude as a skill that I had to develop in order to pull myself out of the deep depression and suffering I experienced during the first year of my grieving. Many widowers find their ability to be empathetic to others is greatly enhanced after the loss of their wives.

Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower support, Widower blogFred ColbyMarch 21, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower blogs, Widower syndrome, Behavior of a widower, How to heal after a spouse dies Comments

Widower: Confronting Valentine Triggers and Reactions

Valentine’s Day, like birthdays and other special days, may bring back painful memories that set us back in our healing process. Knowing this in advance can help us to prepare so we can overcome their impacts…

Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyFebruary 7, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower blogs, Widower syndrome, Behavior of a widower Comments

Life After Death?

After our wife passes, many of us will ask the question we desperately want an answer to:

“Does she still exist? Is she still aware of me? Can she hear me or see me? Is there any way for me to communicate with her?”…

Widower Self Help, Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyJanuary 23, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower’s syndrome, What is a widower experiencing?, Death of SpouseComment

Widower Wearing Wedding Ring Sparks Huge Discussion

Have you ever been the one to make everyone in the room suddenly freeze, their puzzled sights pointed in your direction after asking something that seemed completely okay at the time?

When a 32-year-old woman by the username u/Ideal-Mind3099 decided to ask her new colleague “James”, a recent widower, about the wedding band on his finger – things went into an opposite direction from what she expected….

Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widower GriefFred ColbyJanuary 12, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower blogs, Widower syndrome, What is a widower experiencing? Comments

WHAT TO SAY, NOT SAY, AND I SAY …. TO A NEW WIDOWER

I recently was asked during a radio interview to summarize my advice to the friends and family of a widower on what to say or not say to them. The following are some highlights of our conversation…

Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 19, 2021Widower blogs, Widower’s syndrome, Death of Spouse, Widower Families Comments

Dating Lessons

Starting to date again at age 65 after being married for many years is intimidating for both widows and widowers. The reality can be very different than the cliché’s seen at the movies. For me, dating was a necessary step in my journey to redefine myself and regain my self-confidence.

Widowers and dating, Widower Relationships, Widower blogFred ColbySeptember 22, 2021Fred Colby, AuthorWidower blogs, Widower’s syndrome, widower dating behavior Comments

Selling Your House?

After the loss of our wives, many of us face the question, “Should I sell my house?” and the follow-up question, “Where will I go if I sell it?”

You may find, as I did, that the answer to the first is….

Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Self Help, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyJuly 15, 2021Fred Colby, AuthorWidower blogs, Widower Health, Widower Self Help, Widower’s syndrome Comments

Peace and Serenity Six Years Later

As I recently sat on the porch swing looking out over the green fields, pond, and river before me I realized just how different things are for me now, compared to six years ago after losing my wife of 45 years…

Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyJune 18, 2021Fred Colby, Authorwidower embracing grief, Widower’s syndrome, Widower blogs, Stages of grief Comments

Why Are Some Widowers So Angry?

Shortly after my wife’s death, I went to the mountains by myself for a week and screamed as loud and often as I wanted to. But now, 5 years later, I no longer feel the anger I felt then. I now forget how easy it was to cut myself off from others, and to let the anger and depression take over.

Widower Relationships, Widower Grief, Widower blogFred ColbyApril 6, 2021Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower’s syndrome, widower grief, Widower anger Comments

Should I Move?

Every widower will at some point face the question, “Should I move out of my house?”… There is a sort of push-pull relationship with the home, in which you want to escape it…. But also want to retreat to its familiar arms…

Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyMarch 9, 2021Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, widowers asking for help, How a widower can keep their relationships, Widower Families Comments

Widower: Oh Crap! Now What?

That was my reaction when I recently found out that I had prostate cancer and would have to start treatment soon. When you get prostate cancer, suddenly everyone you know is dealing with the same or a similar problem… We widowers seem to be primed to get all kinds of serious illnesses within a year or two of our wives passing.

Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyFebruary 24, 2021Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower’s syndrome, widower grief Comments

Widower: A Message for a Widower’s Friends and Family

A kind word can save a widower. Amazing, but true! When a widower is buried in grief, just one kind word from someone can make their grief bearable and make their chances of surviving their grief intact more likely. More than once a friend called me at just the right time and offered kind words of support, or to meet with me, or to help in some way….

Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blogFred ColbyJanuary 25, 2021Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Families, widowers asking for help, Widower’s syndrome, Blogs for widowersComment

Widower: Pushing Them Away

Have you ever known someone who is so kind, so caring, so considerate and so wanting to please you and everyone around them that they drive you kind-of-crazy? In response, do you bristle, offer abrupt answers to their questions, and/or push them away every time you are around them.

Well, that may be the feeling that you have around everyone after you lose your wife….

Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJanuary 12, 2021Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower’s syndrome, Widower blogs Comments

Widower: Surviving Self-Isolation

This blog is for all widowers who are struggling with grieving and isolation.

As widowers we often are advised to avoid self-isolation….In normal times we are told to get out, try new activities, meet new people, and reach out to those who still love us and are in our life. All of this is critical to eventual healing.

But now we are often advised to isolate-in-place due to COVID–19.

Widower blog, Widower Gifts, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 16, 2020Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, widowers asking for help, Stages of grief, Widower therapy Comments

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